One of my best movie genres is political drama/thriller—of course, if we don’t count military intelligence, war, sci-fi and sitcoms. I used to really like horror, but the storylines stopped making sense to me.

Political dramas just mirror the kind of life I do not yet have access to, but whose lessons I can apply in mine. They have everything, they do not worry about the minor things we worry about at the bottom of the food chain. Not more cars, not travelling to 50 countries, not minimalist houses (who took away colours fgs?)

They make decisions, hard decisions that either make or mar millions of lives, or worse, their own life and family’s. They live to fight. They die fighting. It’s all words and lawsuits and conspiracies and threats and manipulations and scandals and decisions. It’s all about survival. You should consider it.

Beyond them, it also teaches me that there’s a lot that happens within the confines of power that a mere man may never understand. “You have to be twice as good as them to get half of what they have.” We are all but pawns being played in a game of chess, we can only hope that the player knows exactly what they are doing.

You have to be twice as good as them to get half of what they have.

Rowan, Scandal series

I lived a part of my life in 2023 on the lessons I picked from these movies. I have fallen and picked myself up too many times, I have experienced too many hurts, too many losses, too many heartbreaks, too many rejections, too many sick moments. I fell into an unhealthy dose of self-pity, and just like Olivia (even though I don’t like her character at all), I told myself “It’s me. I’m the thing that needs to be handled. I’m the scandal. The best way to deal with a scandal is to shut it down.” I got scared. I got sad. I still am scared. I still am sad.

But like her, I had my gladiators. I had my friends who were (still are) willing to go over a cliff with me.

Featuring a few of my friends.

They encouraged me every step of the way, and this entire year-in-review is dedicated to all of them. Sometimes it’s subtle, sometimes it’s harsh…but they’re always right there.

You’re a gladiator. Gladiators don’t run. They fight. They slay dragons. They wipe off the blood. They stitch up their wounds. They live to fight another day. You don’t get to run.

Abby to Olivia, Scandal series

Hey, to the order of the day. How did my year really go? Check it out.

Career

Last year, I got to a stage where I stopped loving my career. I hated being a marketer. I must have spoken to a few people about it, I wanted to explore something else. Product management, design, software development—anything as long as it wasn’t marketing. But then, I had a discussion with a friend who made me realise that I didn’t hate marketing, I had just gotten tired of my company. I still loved my career, I just hated my job.

The job stopped loving me back. And as that wanker said in one of his numerous hilarious double entendres, “It’s not like we can handcuff him to his locker and make him love us.” So, I set out to search for new opportunities, but I just couldn’t get what I wanted.

It’s not like we can handcuff him to his locker and make him love us.

Ted, Ted Lasso

The companies I really wanted weren’t hiring and the ones that were hiring were not what I wanted. And I also got rejections from a few (read: one) that overlapped. So, the opportunity to leave the country came—and I hugged it tight. It was my saving grace. I applied for the global talent visa and well, I got it!

This year, I had a major leap in my career. I took all of those lemons my former role handed to me and made them into lemonade. I spoke to three major audiences in Nigeria, England and India. I had multiple speaking sessions. I worked on multiple projects. I worked on the most interesting project at Explori. I volunteered with the most interesting brands. I attended too many events.

I failed at creating more within my niche this year. I kept procrastinating because I wanted it to be perfect. That was a major failure for me because I had every opportunity and all of the time. But although late, I have more started to work on my personal brand, prepping Digital Market Woman for the next year.

For my career, 2023 came with a light at the end of the tunnel.

Friendships

Okay okay. Friendship for me in 2023 was a mixture of lights and tunnels. I promised myself to be intentional about my friendships this year, and that was exactly what I did. I got closer to my friends. I shared more. I was more vulnerable. I opened my arms to welcome a little more people. I laughed with them, cried with them. We all walked through some crazy hurdles—arm in arm.

But you see distance? That brought the tunnel back at every point. 😭 I am naturally not a people person. But imagine relocating one year after you decided to accommodate more people into your life? Where are these people always stopping by my apartment every five market days? It was hard getting back to my old I-like-to-be-left-alone self primarily because I didn’t want to—but now, I am back. Fully. Sorry.

I also made more friends. A lot more friends, both home and abroad. Lovely people.

And I lost friends as well. I lost some because our values no longer aligned. I lost another to the cold hands of death. That broke me.

The death of Fola broke me so badly. We were five and we were both the last ones standing. Then she left. I hope there is no other life anywhere, nobody deserves that burden. Especially not Rufus, Ezinne, Adeola and Fola. Especially not me.

But then, despite the distance, my friends came through for me “because I promise you, there is something worse out there than being sad, and that is being alone and being sad.”

Because I promise you, there is something worse out there than being sad, and that is being alone and being sad.

Ted, Ted Lasso

My failure? Well, finding a balance between my friends. I don’t know how to carry everyone along at the same time or measure my participation in equal dosage.

Love

Paul was right when he said in his book, The Zahir, that “It is always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn’t matter what we call it; what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over.”

My relationship ended in March, but I believe it ended too long after it had reached its end. Call it my very own “we’re on a break” moment, as my friend called it. Sorry if you didn’t watch the Friends series. Anyway, we turned out as two different people who wanted different things and craved different lives—and that’s okay, yeah? But what mattered is that we were (still are) both amazing people, it was great while it lasted and I am excited that part of my life happened. I have just come to understand that being good people doesn’t automatically translate to being good together.

It is always important to know when something has reached its end

Paul, The Zahir

9 months of being single has been the most amazing time of my life. I have found happiness. I have been at so much peace and honestly? I wish it wouldn’t end. But it must. In Jesus name. 🤣 Because if there’s anything better than being single and happy, it’s being in a very happy relationship. And that, I have missed.

Family

I initially wanted to leave this part out, because I wasn’t ready to share vulnerable information. But then, I remembered I already shared a part, laced with fiction. Leaving the country was a dream come true for my parents and siblings, especially my dad. Sadly though, my dad wasn’t conscious enough to be aware of it.

Nothing prepares you for your parents growing old and looking frail. Nothing prepares you for every subtle fear you feel every time they get very sick. Sickness is no longer random. Every time, you think briefly, and quickly overshadow that thought with a silent “God abeg.”

But I am glad I have been there for my family more this year than ever, especially financially. Leaving the country and earning better allows me to do more, and that makes me abso-fucking-lutely happy. If that is all I can do all my life, I will be a fulfilled woman. But let’s hope that’s not. 😅

Fun

An absolute failure.

Oh, I travelled, saw new places, visited people, took walks, saw movies, read books. But I consider it a failure because I still don’t know exactly what I do for fun. People ask me that question and I have no answer. Beyond being left alone, what exactly do I really enjoy doing? What do I do for fun?

No answer. And that, my friend, is why I consider fun a failure for me this year.

Onward. Forward.

So, what next? What will be happening in 2024? There’s a lot of things, but these are the ones I can share.

• When they call online content creators, I want to be able to raise my hand with my full chest. So I will create a whole lot of content.
• I currently have over 11k followers across all my platforms (IG, X, LinkedIn & TikTok) as at December 2023. By December 2024, make it 50k. That’s a big goal, but hey!
• Expanding my network is at the top of list. I will have international conversations, make cross-border friends and increase my social capital. And it will be obvious.
• I want to work with a big tech company, whether it’s the popular ones or not—a global company solving big problems for millions of people.
• Yeah, at least one of my siblings will join me in the UK. And my parents? Top priority.
• I like love. I like being in a love that I like and enjoy—even though I’ve not particularly had great luck with that. But in 2024? I’ll be trying again. Hopefully.
• I already shared my financial goals with a few friends. Let’s just say I want to have savings and investments in 5 figures.
• Gym rat loading…but that’s what I say every year, isn’t it? I’m ashamed.
• Travelling to a new place every month is something I am serious about in 2024. It will happen. Every single month, in and out of the UK.
• And finally? I will not only learn to drive, but I will also be getting a car. Living in Peterborough without a car? Crazy!

I have a question for you.

As you read this, help answer this question. If there’s another skill you think I can thrive at, what would it be? I mean, outside anything that’s related to marketing (which includes writing), what else do you see me thriving at? Please leave comments. Please and please.

Anything goes, just say it. How will I know the correct one? Well, let me explain with Ted Lasso’s response in explaining the offside rule in football.

I’m gonna put it the same way the US Supreme Court did back in 1964 when they defined pornography. It ain’t easy to explain, but you know it when you see it.

Please scroll down to answer 🙏🏽 And of course, you can use an anonymous name.